Former Playboy Mansion resident Kendra Wilkinson reveals that she suffered from postpartum depression after the birth of her first child, Hank, late last year. The former “Girls Next Door” star says that shortly giving birth she struggled with setbacks after becoming a first-time mom.

The blonde bombshell tells OK! Magazine: I never brushed my hair, my teeth or took a shower. I looked in the mirror one day and was totally depressed. A couple of times, I even said, ‘I just have nothing to live for.’”

Kendra admits that part of her depression was because she didn’t know what to expect after Hank was born and the move she made from California to Indiana so her NFL star husband could be closer to his team, the Indianapolis Colts.

Kendra further explained: “It was new to me – the snow and the cold. I love running and hiking. I had a hard time being trapped inside. I’d look outside and think how much I wished I could go to the beach again.”